Coming Along

Two weeks ago, I had lost 37 pounds total, the next week I gained back 5, then last week I re-lost the 5 that I had lost the first time and then re-gained. So...I guess I haven't really lost any weight for 2 weeks. I don't feel badly about it--it has been a great learning experience. I am used to my new way of eating. The most difficult thing for me is when I don't get enough sleep and/or I am really stressed. I still find myself looking for food to comfort me or to give me a quick pick up. When I am focusing on my business and I am moving too fast mentally, I have a difficult time slowing down long enough to think about food. So...sometimes I don't eat enough. I carry all of the food I need for the day with me and that helps a lot. Last week, I was stressed and I sat at my desk and ate 3 protein bars in a row. It was aroudn 6:00 p.m. and I hadn't focused on eating them during the day so I ate them all at once. The point I am making is that I was eating out of stress but the bars were what I had to eat so I ate them. I think that is a positive but I know that I have to eat every 2 - 3 hours to make this program work. Right now is a test for me. My assistant is no longer working for me and my work load is tremendous, especially mentally. I am learning how important stress management is to my health. Stress causes me to wake up in the middle of the night. Exercise helps but it is not enough. I will figure it out. I wish there were someone who understood my situation for me to talk to and learn from.

A LOT TO LEARN

This has been an incredible journey! What I am learning is that I have to stay 100% focused on my life's changes. This experience is too important and too sensitive to take my eye off my goal, even for a moment. I wonder if my new health plan will become second nature to the point that I don't have to think about it. I've had 40 years of not-so-great health habits so I imagine that it may take years to make my new habits second nature. Sometimes when I'm running from activity to activity and I don't plan enough time to carry enough food with me, I find myself not eating frequently enough and then when I am home, I overeat the healthy food because I allowed myself to go too long without eating. In the beginning of the program, I ate too little food and I felt faint and I couldn't think straight. I added the calories of the bars and shakes with the small amount of food I was eating and I discovered that I was eating around 900 calories. So...I started searching for foods to eat that meet the criteria of the plan. I found that eating small amounts of food throughout the day is better for me than eating a mid-sized meal at the end of the day. By the time I've worked a 12-14 hour day, I don't have energy to make a "real" meal. It has helped me a lot to not just track what I eat but to also track the calories, the amount of protein, and the amount of carbs. Fountain of Youth gave me guidelines for all of these areas. It is sometimes a chore to track all of these. Yesterday, I was at Barnes and Noble and I found the perfect little journal that already has these areas written down--it also includes an exercise log and a way to track water intake. I think the journal will help me immensely! It will at least make things easier! Yeah!

Week of Gratitude

I was shocked to find out at my weigh-in yesterday that I gained some weight back. So...for this week at least, I lost momentum toward my goal. It doesn't feel good for sure. Debbie didn't tell me exactly how much weight I gained back and I get the impression that it is more complicated than that. I wonder if I have actually been losing 1 - 1 1/2 pounds a week like I thought. All I can do is go forward so...the pitty party will end now. What I feel is GRATITUDE toward Fountain of Youth for the weekly weigh-in! Knowing where I am weekly will help me to get back on track when I fall down. In Oprah's last magazine she talks about gaining back about 40 pounds. She says that she stopped taking care of herself. When I read the article I thought "I'll pay attention not to let that happen to me" yet, that's exactly what I did. I stopped taking care of myself. I'm just grateful to know before all of the weight crept back on. THANKS FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! I haven't felt well since before Christmas and I got the full-blown flu last week. I stayed in bed or did the bare minimum of work just to get by. I went for long periods without eating. Then I ate canned chicken soup (the kind with very little chicken). I figured that it couldn't be many calories. I didn't go to the gym--no energy. The other thing I didn't do (but I didn't even realize until I thought about it due to my weigh-in) is log what I was eating. I didn't eat a lot of quantity and I didn't eat "bad" foods. The problem is that I didn't eat enough protein. I got off-balance. The scale at Fountain of Youth knew that. Incredible! This week I am back on track. (I chuckle now to think that I thought I was O.K. because I didn't eat much.) I realize that my struggle has always been in taking care of myself. As a divorced mom with a crazy ex, all my kids have is me -- literally. That is why I work so hard at growing my insurance business. When I am not working, I am helping my children. I have to remember myself in the mix. It feels so foreign to me. After this week I realize that I have to find a way to find time for myself or I won't be here to take care of my children. And...this weight loss journey will be all in vain if I back-slide. This is the hardest part of the journey--much harder than following the food program and going to the gym. I will succeed! It's for the children!

A new shirt size!

Earlier I neglected to add that I bought a shirt and I had to take it back because it was too big! Everyday I visualize myself as a lean person; however, I haven't imagined what it would feel like to buy smaller clothes. It felt incredible! I AM now visualizing shopping in the "regular" sized section of the store. It feels wonderful!

Confession

I am so excited! Yesterday was Saturday and I pulled out all of my kitchen appliances and cleaned behind and underneath them! I'm excited because I had the energy to do the work! I usually work 12-15 hour days on my business. Until now, when I was home I would be lying down, too tired to do anything, except eat, of course. I relied on my children to complete basic chores around the house. Since I have lost some weight, I am amazed at how much more energy I have (and I've always thought of myself as a "high-energy" person). Thanks Fountain of Youth for the "new energetic me"! I have now lost 37 1/2 pounds.

A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This is so exciting! I have lost at least a pound weekly and I am now 35 1/2 pounds lighter! This is now feeling easy because I feel so great. I feel like I have more and more energy all the time. I even "crave" going to the gym (a lot of the time). During the holiday I chose a few times when I ate a regular meal, over-ate, felt bloated...basically learned a very important lesson. I don't enjoy feeling "full" any longer. When I first started the program, I remember journally that I craved feeling "full". I think I have overcome that desire. I have come to a point where I eat every 2 - 3 hours naturally and I don't ever wake up hungry. I still love eating the protein bars. I don't miss many foods. I ate a potato chip and it tasted so salty that I didn't enjoy it. I doubt that Lays has changed their recipe so it must be that my taste buds are changing.

Overall, I feel incredibly blessed for the opportunity that Fountain of Youth has given me to change my life. The program works! And...there are aspects of the program that I need to improve on. This experience just gets better and better everyday.